Observations from MLB All-Star Game in St. Louis

Since I am starting this post at the top of the ninth inning, you will have to forgive me if these little ditties don't really have any rhyme or reason. I'm just trying to remember thoughts I had while watching what has been a quick and mildly entertaining all-star game. Oh, if you don't like baseball, screw you. On to the post...!

- Ryan Howard you piece of crap. Not only did you check-swing strikeout with men on second and third to be the final out of the 8th, but you also look like a giant koala bear. I couldn't root for you and you absolutely gave me no reason to. C*cksucker!

- Manny "Jack Lalane" Ramirez would have gotten those RBIs for the National League. I have no doubt about it.

- Zach Grienke looks like my best friend in 4th grade. He might be 12 years old. This is coming from a 25 year old man who still gets carded to buy his Parliament Lights.

- Obama totally dissed Puhols after the ceremonial first pitch. Usually the President would take a picture with whomever (fancy yes, i know) caught the pitch, but Black Prez just shook his hand and walked on by. Sucks for you Albert! They didn't really show if Obama threw a strike or not, but it certainly looked better than Mark Wahlberg's embarrassing, ego-crushing, are you sure you even like baseball? attempt.

http://bapple2286.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/celebrity-first-pitch-mark-wahlberg/

- As much as it pains me to say it, Jayson Werth just made a sick catch to end the inning for my buddy K-Rod. Slight hat tip to you Werth you scumbag. Nice soul patch you hippy.

- Mariano is up to close the game now for the American League. Douche bag.

- Jeter got hit by a pitch earlier in the game. I didn't hope he got hurt or anything since I know how shitty injuries are, but I still smiled.

- David Wright scored a run earlier in the game. Woooo let's go Mets!

- Miguel Tejada is the last chance for the National League (did I mention Koala Howard choked?). Hopefully Tejada is still juicing.

- I would wear glasses like Joe Maddon if I didn't have super amazing vision.

- The National League just lost again. Good job Koala you bitch ass. You suck too Heath "fat f-ing loud mouth" Bell.

- Carl Crawford robbed a home run from Brad Hawpe in the 7th. That was pretty sweet. He just got the MVP, too. I can't hate. He's a good player.

- Get Mariano's kid off the fucking field.

- I don't remember seeing any Pirates, A's, or Reds in the game at all. They pretty much suck anyway.

- The St. Louis Arch looks pretty cool.

- I wonder if all the Dominican players wanted to talk politics with Obama.

- No fucking way Prince Fielder is a vegetarian. Dude is immense.

Alright, Fox's post-game coverage is lame. I'm gonna watch a Seinfeld rerun.

Later Haters.